Hail Mary Prayer

mary

Hail Mary
Full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed are thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the moment of our Last Breath.

The Hail Mary prayer is divided into 2 parts: The first part represents the Micro-cosmic Mary, that is, the ‘Mary’ that every woman can choose to embody, the ‘Mary’ that women can be.

The second part of the prayer focuses on the Macrocosmic ‘Mary’, the Cosmic Mother, also known as Sophia–the Mother of All.

When we pray the Hail Mary we are reaching out to ‘Sophia’, the wisdom, that is both within us all (microcosmic Mary) and that is also part of the entire Cosmos (macrocosmic Mary).

Little Baby Boy! 

Soo you can’t really tell from the ultrasound (if you don’t know what you’re looking for lol) but it turns out I’m having a little baby boy! Almost everyone thought it was going to be a girl, but nope. It’s a boy.

I actually dreamed I would be having a boy like three times before knowing what it was, but was never really sure until now!

He’s set to be born around the time of my own birthday, a little Scorpio Prince to be born from a Scorpio Queen ❤

I can’t wait to meet my little prince. This is really one of the best feelings ever. I feel so blessed, and I’m so looking forward to maternity and to nurturing this little boy the best I can.

Thank you God for this wonderful little blessing that is growing in my womb so fast!

🙏🏻

The Mystery of Esotericism & The Millenial Tradition

The mystery schools have been around since atlantean times, it’s not a product of an institutional design by the “west”.

They will continue to be around for a long time to come, too.

The Esoteric School is alive and kicking, its members are all of the genuine initiates and their pupils from across the globe.

Humankind used to dance with the gods during their dreams back in atlantean times. Back then, there were Seven mystery schools, corresponding to the following spheres: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Moon, Sun. The greatest of these mystery schools was the Sun…the being they revered was the Christ. These “schools” or organizations were reserved exclusively for those human beings who had an even deeper connection to the Heavenly than the average human being. However, the mystery schools evolved during the end of the atlantean era, because the initiates started to seek those human beings who were developing Rational Thought. They could identify them easily, because these were the human beings who had lost their atavistic clairvoyance, due to this new brain development. They were seeking these humans because they knew that in the future, human beings will have to learn to connect with the divinity through Thought, rather than atavistically. They wanted to train them and give them all the wisdom they had…. and these pupils became the founders of the ancient post-atlantean mystery schools, which begun in ancient india and egypt, hundreds of thousands of years ago.

The esoteric tradition has been maintainted through the millenia, always through the passing down of information from initiate to pupil, and through the teaching and reading of the corresponding akashic records. Christian Rosenkreuz is the western initiate par excellence. He´s a cosmic initiate and a safekeeper of wisdom. There are many other great initiates, both western and eastern, as well.

The Esoteric Tradition became public in the 19th century, with the corresponding Michaelic victory over the Luciferic Forces. This victory over the dragon in the spiritual worlds enabled this esoteric wisdom, which had before been reserved to secret societies and groups, to stream towards mankind. This was the time when Occultism or Esotericism became mainstream….

Flash forward to 2017 and here I am, speaking of these things on a public blog for anyone who wishes to read them.

Full Moon in Scorpio


Scorpio is ruled by Pluto and Mars, planets of transformation, renovation and depth. The consciousness of Scorpio has the ability to reach divine levels, as well as hellish ones. 

Use this Full Moon energy in Scorpio to let go of things that no longer serve you and to set the intention to think, feel and act from higher planes of consciousness. Use it to come to terms with the paths you have already chosen in life and to reinforce the plans you have for the future. 

Happy Full Moon

Jim Morrison – A Tribute

morrison

Jim Morrison was the singer and songwriter of the 60’s psychedelic rock band The Doors. Known to many of his fans as ‘The Lizard King‘, Morrison was famous for his existential lyrics, religious native-american inclinations, rockstar persona, and frequent use of LSD and other hallucinogens.

Sounds typical 60’s, but the greatness of Morrison is that he was an original. His view of the world wasn’t pre-fabricated. His art and poetry wasn’t copied from somebody else’s. They were entirely his own…his perception of the world he also built on his own.

Legend has it that Morrison had an IQ of 149. His college professors remember him frequently reading classics like Nietzche and William Blake. He was also influenced by the 1940’s beatnik counterculture, which can be described as the precursors to the hippies. He was a nihilist at heart, which means he believed that nothing in the world has a real existence, even though he did eventually adopt certain spiritual beliefs such as the infinity of the universe and the existence of a soul.

He eventually graduated from film school in Los Angeles and dropped out of the map. They found him a couple of months later living in the rooftop of a building, doing LSD day in and day out. He was 23.

It wasn’t long until he was discovered by a musician called Ray Manzarek, who asked him to join his band. Thus, The Doors was born.

While on The Doors, Morrison sang about drugs, sex, and mind expansion. He also occassionally sang about the souls of dead indians crawling into his mind.

“Indians scattered on dawn’s highway bleeding

Ghosts crowd the young child’s fragile eggshell mind”

In the post-mortem album, An American Prayer, Morrison explains where these lyrics come from. When he was 4, his family and him were driving down the highway when they came upon an accident. There was blood everywhere and a couple of dead native-americans lying by the side of the road. He says that the way he saw it as an adult, was that the souls of those dead indians were running around, freaking out, and then jumped into his soul. And, he says, they have been there ever since.

Morrison also wrote a type of poetry that can be described as mystical, languid, and surreal.

Here is an example:

Enter again the sweet forest

Enter the hot dream

And Come With Us

Everything is Broken Up and Dances

This was an artist who was shaped not only by the experiences of his own life, but also by his unique mix of cultural and literary influences. He produced a decent amount of music and poetry until he died of a heroin overdose at the age of 27, consumed by the whirlwind life of fame, drugs and rock and roll.

In my mind, he will always be one of the greats. Not because he can be easily understood, but precisely because he can’t. Is he singing about an acid trip, or about how he heard the words of the ancient native-american gods? Or both? Did he really believe in an afterlife, or was he truly an atheist?

We will never know. Jim Morrison is and will remain forever an enigma, and that’s what makes him–and his art–great.

My Past-Life Regression Experience

past life

Around eight months ago, one of my friends (let’s call her Kathleen) was hosting and leading a Group Meditation. Kathleen is a Shamanic healer, Past-Life regression therapist, and Yoga teacher.

In this event, Kathleen set up a raffle and was offering a free past-life regression to the winner. Before the meditation started, she effusively encouraged me to participate in the raffle. I didn’t really feel like getting a past-life regression (I have some pretty concrete speculations about several of my past lives anyways), but Kathleen was my friend and she was asking me to put my name in the raffle bowl…

I did, hoping I wouldn’t win.

At the end of the meditation, Kathleen pulls my name out of the bowl and I win the raffle (why, God?). So I ended up with the free past-life regression I didn’t want in the first place…

The next week I go to her place for the regression. She begins by ‘opening sacred space’ and reciting an ancient Toltec poem about the mystical powers of the earth, going around in a circle while she does, and addressing the Spirits of the Four Cardinal points (N,E,S,W). I’m okay with all of this and even enjoy it.

Then the regression starts.

I’m lying on a bed and Kathleen is sitting on a chair next to the bed. She asks me to relax my entire body, so I do. She asks me to steady and slow down my breathing, and I do everything she asks me.

Then, in a smooth, slow voice, she starts to describe a setting. I’m walking through a dark hallway, she says, and I reach an old wooden door. She asks me to visualize everything she is describing, and not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have excellent visualization skills.

I imagine everything and I build up the scene in my head, even adding more elements of my choosing until I have constructed this sort of mental palace. It is at this moment that I notice my body getting a little heavier, like veryyyyy relaxed on top of the bed.

Kathleen then asks me to take the handle of the door in my mind and open it. When I do, I see a spiral stairway leading downwards into more darkness. I follow the stairs down, and reach another door. When I open it, I come out into this dense foliage, this thick rainforest of different and varied shades of green.

Kathleen asks me where I am, and I answer almost without thinking, ‘Atlantis’.

I’m going to stop here a moment and attempt to describe my state of consciousness at this point. By this time, regular thoughts weren’t entering my mind anymore. I was wholly absorbed in the visual world that I had accessed. It’s a difficult state of mind to describe, because you’re still awake, but you’re not thinking as someone who is awake. You’re letting your mind and the pictures it creates run a little wild, as if in a dream.

Kathleen invited me to explore the area. So I did. She started asking me questions, such as what I was wearing, if I was a man or woman, and the type of setting.

I was a woman. I lived in the middle of the forest with other women… like in an order or something.

Then she asked me… “How did you die in this life?”

The setting changed immediately. I was faced, in front of me, with a burning temple. A herd of rioters had taken me and the other women from my community out of the temple we inhabited before burning it to the ground.

Kathleen asked me why they did this, and I answered “Because they were hungry and angry, and we had food.” Then she asked me again, “How did you die?”

I felt an immediate suffocation and a tightening of my throat. Then I saw it in the vision, an angry rioter putting his hands around my neck.

“I was strangled”. I say.

After I witnessed that, Kathleen gently started coaxing me back into my mental palace. She told me to slowly let the images go… and I did, and the images started fading away. Then, in this vision, I walked back the way I came, up the dungeon stairs, and into the long hallway of the palace.

When I was back in the palace, Kathleen told me that on the count of three, I would resume my ordinary consciousness.

1, 2, 3… I was awake in my ordinary consciousness once again, and the vivid visions I was having took the colorings of dreams.

It felt like 10 minutes had passed. So imagine my surprise when Kathleen sent me the recording of our session, and it was 45 minutes long. FORTY-FIVE minutes…

I researched hypnosis, and one of the symptoms of being hypnotized is losing track of time, which is exactly what happened to me. This is perhaps what surprised me the most out of the whole experience… How everything felt super-fast to me, when in reality it took three quarters of an hour to go through the entire visualization.

I don’t know what to make of this experience or what to think of it.

I did have asthma when I was a kid, but this doesn’t mean I was necessarily strangled in a past life. Though there could be a correlation.

There are other synchronicities between the regression and my life that I won’t go into now.

But is it solid? No. Why Atlantis, though?

I’ve thought a-lot about my greek past life, and my roman one. I was a greek man and a roman woman (maybe), perhaps I’ll go into that sometime.

I’ve never thought about my life in Atlantis.

I could have just imagined everything under the influence of hypnosis, and just had a regular vision or dream, not a vision about my past life.

So there you have it.

Will I ever do this again?

Maybe, although it’s not my modus operandi when it comes to spiritual research. It’s an interesting enough experience though, to say the least.

Do I recommend it?

Only if you’re interested in feeling what it’s like to be under the influence of hypnosis and lose track of time. And if you’re not gullible to what you may experience. 

Seeking to please others is a perilous trap

epictetus

SEEKING TO PLEASE OTHERS IS A PERILOUS TRAP

“In trying to please other people, we find ourselves misdirected toward what lies outside our sphere of influence. In doing so we lose our hold on our life’s purpose.

Content yourself with being a lover of wisdom, a seeker of the truth. Return and return again to what is essential and worthy.

Do not try to seem wise to others.

If you want to live a wise life, live it on your own terms and in your own eyes.”

– Epictetus, The Art of Living

The Spiritual Threshold

threshold

I think I’ve visited what I believe is the real spiritual threshold (as per Steiner’s description of it in How to Know Higher Worlds and The First Class), or at least a tiny part of the threshold, a couple of times by now.

I know I was only able to do this by preparing my soul through spiritual practices. It would have been impossible otherwise.

I have visited the threshold through extensive thought and reflection on myself (my virtues and defects). And I mean extensive. Like, sitting down for half-an-hour or more and FACING myself for who I really am. Recognizing myself. Accepting myself. Not many people know how to do this… There is too much pride, too much ego that must be set aside.

Such is the process for me at this point in time.

Every time I have done this, I end up feeling this overwhelming sense of LACK and darkness… And I am reduced to tears. And then I come back.

Back to superficiality… Only, I’m a little changed.

This is how I know I’m not ready to fully and consciously cross over into the spiritual worlds, like Steiner and the rest of the Masters were known to do. My soul is not yet strong enough to break through that feeling of lack and of darkness.

Then there’s the #Dragon.

That horrid, large, serpent-like floating beast with poisonous fangs the size of my arms that leak black venom from the tips and red evil eyes and spiked scales that protrude from its slithering body… That beast that hangs around me day and night, night and day… And who is nothing but my own self, my own evil personified and manifested psychologically in my mind’s eye.

I will not say the Dragon has spoken to me. It has not. I will not even say that I have witnessed this spiritual entity or being fully for an extended amount of time, for I have not.

But I will say this… The same way I’ve taken my first baby steps out on the threshold, the Dragon has also taken baby steps to approach ME.

Once as a face on the wall. Just a face.

The second time (not too long ago actually) as a full-fledged corporeal figure… that I have described above.

It was a flash. Gone in a second.

But it was real… And it was detailed.

I wasn’t afraid. The strange thing was that I wasn’t afraid! I always thought I would be. But then again, this was only just a glimpse, an introduction of sorts. I know that.

I know this is only the beginning of the threshold. I know there’s more, much more, to confront down this path.

After witnessing a glimpse of my personal Evil, I became very unbalanced for a couple of weeks… Depressive, combative, self-destructive, coupled with the fact that I wasn’t even sure if what I had seen was real or if I was deliberately making myself insane. I’m back to normal now, thank God. All is stabilized again.

The Guardian of the Threshold.

The threshold and the guardian.

They are inseparable.

I have shared this experience with my husband only… Who became very thoughtful after he listened to me. He questioned me once, asking me if perhaps what I had seen was not an elemental… But he dropped the question as soon as it left his lips. No elemental that he knows of has that shape and size.

I did not want to share this publicly, but decided, on impulse, that I should. I should because people should know… Or at least, those people interested in this phenomena and in the spiritual path laid out by Steiner should know the following:

I am an individual with many defects, and yet I DO strive to sincerely seek for the Spirit, day in and day out. I am a sinner saved by Christ’s Grace… And I am an occultist and a student of Steiner’s.

And this is what has happened to me.

The path is real… As real as you’re willing to make it. There are dangers, yes. Perils of the Soul-World that must be overcome. But there is also so much Light.

The way is open to anyone whose will is sincere

Strong Roots

plants

Last night I went over to a friend’s house—I hadn’t hung out with her in her house since 2006, since we were both in 10th grade of High School. She was living abroad but now she’s back in Panama for the time being. She was one of my close friends during all of that High School year, we used to sit at the back of the classroom and listen to music and talk and draw on the walls and cheat on tests and all of that.

I also remember the times when we snuck out of the girl’s bathroom windows to smoke cigarettes with a couple of other girls out on the School Terrace.

I was 15-16 that year and going through my rebellion phase, listening to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin and starting to smoke pot and researching the whole psychedelic movement and dressing like a bohemian and getting more involved in Occultism and lying to my parents to sneak out to parties, and she was one of the few people who understood it all and did those things with me.

On her side, she was in constant trouble with the school’s authorities (the principal and teachers and stuff) and was flunking out and exploring her lesbian side with other girls (she’s bi—has a girlfriend right now), and at one point she even got a Rose tattoo done on her back (that she has now removed) and I remember when her dad cornered her up in her room and started repeatedly punching her on her back, on top of the tattoo that she had just got done, which must have hurt—lol.

Nowadays we laugh over how our parents used to beat us.

So yeah! It was interesting meeting up 11 years later.

Both of us have improved so much. Hanging out with her last night was like hanging out with a 2.0 version, it was so cool.

She’s working in some kind of logistics company and is one of the most efficient people ever… she has a girlfriend who is into fitness and also helps organize her training ‘Bootcamps’. She’s generous and friendly and sharp, and still has that ‘different’ streak that sets her apart…

For example, she told me the story of how she passed Chemistry in college by doing extra-work: Every day she went to the Chem Lab after she was done with all of her classes to first clean the head of a Cow, and when that was finally done she then took out the organs (brains and eyes and such) and then put the cleaned Cow Head in a jar with filled Formaldehyde liquid so that her Teacher could preserve it—because he liked preserving organs and bodies of dead animals in jars. And that’s how she passed College Chemistry.

As for me, well, I’m a lawyer now, and married (something she can’t believe lol), and into spiritual research and trying to be consistent with the disciplines of my life.

Which got me thinking…

There’s so much to be said for having strong roots.

My friend has this lovely terrace in her house with a huge garden that her Mother (one of the nicest women I have ever met in my life) tends to every day—yeah, my friend still lives with her parents even though she’s 27… People do that here (in Latin America) and it’s no big deal.

Anyways, the plants in her terrace are so diverse in shape and size, and they’re so lovely and vibrantly green and full of life…so I asked my friend how it was that her mother keeps and tends to these beautiful plants.

She told me how every day, at dusk, her mom puts on a long, white, sleeveless shirt that goes down to the middle of her thighs, puts on her gloves, and starts watering, working the soil and speaking to each of these plants. And when one of the plants gets sick, she sets them apart in a different corner to give them extra-attention at the end.

And I thought of how a person’s soul, a person’s individual soul, can really prosper and develop when given this kind of personal care… the same way a plant can. And how she (my friend), despite what some people may call her weirdness, has developed and blossomed into this really interesting and well-grounded human being… because of her strong Soul Roots. And how maybe the same thing can be said about me.

Anyways, just thinking about this and thought I would share.

Good day everyone.

The Higher Self on LSD

This happened November 14 of 2015, more specifically the night of my 25th b-day, a Saturday night.

“Are you sure you don’t want to have a party at the house and invite your friends, instead?” Miguel (the man I live with and also my husband) said.
“I’m sure. I’m tired of hosting.”
“Not even your closest friends?”
“No…”
“Are you sure? They’ll wonder why you don’t want to celebrate your birthday. You always do.”
“Let them wonder, then.”
This was one of the many conversations we had during the week leading up to Saturday, where he gently tried to dissuade me from my decision.

I had bought 2 tabs of lsd, but gave one as a gift to a friend and kept the other one for myself.
“Thanks for this.” He said, pocketing it. “Do you want to trip together like the last time?”
“I want to do it alone.”
“Miguel will be there with you?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. He’s solid. He’ll be like, your shaman.” He said, passing me the joint.

At around 8:30pm Saturday night I decided it was time to take the acid. I started unrolling the tinfoil as I sat cross-legged on top of the couch.
“You should take half the tab.” Miguel said.
“You think?”
“The dealer told you it was a strong batch.”
On impulse, I put the whole tab in my mouth, feeling the metallic bitterness spread from the piece of paper outwards, numbing my tongue after a while. The tab sat there in my mouth for about ten minutes. Then I swallowed the paper.
Miguel took a deep breath. “Okay.”
He didn’t take any because he doesn’t do drugs.

45 minutes in. I’m lying down on the couch, and I start getting antsy. Everything around me starts feeling denser, more material. Even my body felt dense, my flesh felt way too carnal, way too heavy. I was feeling nauseous. Do not eat 2 plates of Chinese food plus some cake for dinner as dessert before taking acid… bad judgment. There was also some loud psychedelic music in the background that was seriously disorienting me. I ran to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later I hear knocks at the bathroom door. The tiles of the floor and walls were moving. I know the drug is hitting me… and I can tell already that it is strong. I opened the door. “Are you okay?” Miguel said. He had turned off the music. I didn’t even know what to say. My body… it felt so weak.

After vomiting for ten minutes straight, I suddenly had a tremendous awareness of how weak my flesh really was… of how a single bacteria or an accident of any sort can do it away… just like that. And then that thought led me to an awareness of how there are destructive forces within me and without me…surrounding me, surrounding everyone, always.

I walked out to the yard. “I need some space.” We have a level yard, but I was seeing a topsy-turvy hilly yard with moving blades of grass and different shades of green. I sat down in a corner. I was shaking slightly. The thoughts about the destructive forces had led me to think about everything that was destructive in my own life, and how I have been an agent of destruction of myself and of others for years.

I notice Miguel checking to see if there are any neighbors around before sitting down next to me. I could see different colored auras surrounding his body… white and silver and golden, swirling all around him.
“The darkness… it’s so strong.” I whispered.
“Yes.” He said. “But so is the light.”
He had understood me. And with that single sentence, he changed my perspective… I took a deep breath and resolved to focus on the light, and the burden started lifting.
I had just evaded a bad trip.

Back inside, soft gentle music, a video of marine life on mute. The sharks come out of the TV screen, there are planetary and starry patterns on the whale’s skin, I see colorful geometric patterns with my eyes closed or open, an elaborate pattern resembling ancient hieroglyphs but way more elaborate, almost alien-like, on top of the living room rug. It is a waking dream, I was surrounded by dreams.

The music envelops me, I notice every detail, every note. Some of it makes me cry, it touches my soul on a deeper level. My thoughts are expanded, I notice and absorb much more information than before. And then at one point, Miguel says, “Don’t forget about the Higher Forces.” And walks away to grab another beer.

The Higher Forces. The ones that are always there. The Higher Forces that are watching me whip up the dream state by force through the use of a substance. Suddenly I felt urgency. The Higher Forces need help. The destructive forces are strong, the Light needs all the help it can get.

At that moment, coming back, Miguel dropped his bottle of beer, spilling it over the floor.

Split decision-making: I could feel irritated… or I could help.

I stood up, walked to the kitchen, grabbed some paper towels and started picking up the pieces of glass and cleaning the floor. Miguel looks at me. “You’re cleaning up my mess in the middle of your trip. Why?”

“It’s the right thing to do.”

When I heard myself say those words, I made the connection. There is urgency in the spiritual worlds. The way to the Light is by thinking, feeling, and acting the right way… at all times. No matter the circumstances. Like helping clean up instead of becoming irritated that an accident interrupted my reflections.

At another peak point there was a shot in the marine life documentary of a bunch of identical jellyfishes floating around in the middle of the ocean. The shot was taken from the bottom up, so I was seeing the bottom part of this huge school of jellyfishes in my screen, and they all had the same X or cross pattern in the middle of their tiny circular bodies.

I thought: humanity is just like that school of jellyfishes. I am smarter and more capable and educated and talented than many people out there, but am I really that much better than a bum sitting on the corner of a street?

The answer felt like it came from another source:

Not really.

My ego resisted this. Of course I’m more important than a bum on the street. I continued watching the jellyfishes… All of them identical, all of them the same… a giant school of identical jellyfishes. I started thinking about how we are all the same in potential. How we are all capable of developing the same faculties, how we are all gifted with the same spirit seed…

If we are all the same in potential, then we are all equally important.

THAT thought, combined with the image of the jellyfishes, momentarily lifted my sense of ego enough for me to feel without identity, without gender, for a fraction of a moment.

Suddenly I thought of The Christ, and I felt it. I felt the truth… We are all the same. I cried again.

2am. The hallucinations had largely worn off. Miguel had fallen asleep. I was lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. Contemplating life. I couldn’t sleep, but I wasn’t restless. I thought about how I wanted to become a mother, how I ached for it. I thought of Sophia, the cosmic mother. I thought of Michael. I felt reverence, deep reverence, during this contemplation. I did this for four hours straight. Just lying there in the dark, thinking and feeling.

6am. I got up from the bed and went out into the yard again and saw the first rays of sunlight. I closed my eyes and started meditating. Beautiful symmetrical duodecagons of a very light, very ethereal purple, pink and white floated in front of me as I meditated. Very peaceful. Very serene. I started reciting the Hail Mary, and the duodecagons got brighter. This was probably my favorite part of the trip.

The next six hours of Sunday morning I spent cleaning the house, in the afternoon I visited my in-laws, I cooked at night, all in a state of expanded clarity and serenity, and went to bed at 8pm. It was only the next day (Monday) that I felt fully normal again.

And that was my LSD trip

Jim Morrison said taking drugs was a gamble with your mind. Blavatsky said you end up paying the price one way or another. Steiner implied it was an illicit way of breaking through the threshold.

Do them at your own risk, kids.